The Piano Player and the Comedian
by gyarugirlmeg
Summary: The beautiful and talented Lidia Loraine just so happened to be attending Mr. Wayne's fundraiser. When she expects to meet the handsome Bruce Wayne and thank him for paying for her scholarship, she gets an awful surprise. Now Lidia is trapped by the Joker and has to fight for her freedom, or will a certain mysterious hero free her first?
1. Chapter 1

Hi :3 This is my first fanfic so don't be cruel please! I do not own the dark knight, or dc which is frankly obvious. If I did I'd be off in the real world probably conversing with Christian Bale while drooling. :) I hope you like it!

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Chapter 1:

It was hardly anything that the young woman, awkwardly sitting on the piano bench, would ever prefer. As she sat playing a very dull song that her professor requested, she gazed upon the crowd of the luxury livers currently dining. They all seemed to dress in black and white, while trimmed in gold. Harvey Dent was currently the only one she recognized, and he even seemed to be as anxious as her.

As the crowd became louder and brasher, she realized she herself had to comply with the change in the room. Of course the only reason she was even here was to play to impress Mr. Wayne, after all he did pay for her scholarship. As she began to play her finely tuned instrument, she noticed how her fingers began to do their own thing. The keys just played in a random fashion, which seemed to get the crowd's attention quite easily. After the end of the supposed ballad, Lidia gazed upon the ever so shocked faces of the rich. A roar of claps rung throughout the penthouse, making the young virtuoso pleased.

"Dear Lidia, you sure did put your own twist on the song I requested! Isn't she wonderful?!" Professor what's his name began to applause, somewhat rallying the group around him. The encouragement quickly brought warmth to Lidia's cheeks and a large smirk from ear to ear. Standing up to face the crowd she noticed her ridiculous dress was caught under the stool, as she fumbled about like a tool in front of the so called 'rich snobs that pay for your lessons' Lidia completely tripped almost falling flat on her face. Luckily Mr. Wayne caught Lidia before she broke a tooth off of the grand piano before her.

"Careful, we wouldn't want are prodigy to break something." Bruce began as he helped Lidia situate herself; he leant over towards her and quickly whispered into her ear "I don't believe this is the right size." Lidia merely stared at the man practically gawking at him, but nodded and plainly answered back "I borrowed it from a friend, although I think the sequins are a little much." Bruce laughed and nodded his head, then looked towards a certain butler who Lidia noticed hovered over Mr. Wayne throughout the party.

"As you all can see my money is definitely going to good use, Miss Lidia Loraine is one of the few students at Gotham University who are talented enough to receive a full scholarship. I believe more donations are in order to keep up with the school's talented students, wouldn't you agree?" Again the crowd of people began to clap loudly, and at that point Lidia realized Mr. Wayne's power. Bruce lightly coughed and caught Lidia's attention, and then he nodded his head towards the hem of her dress. Of course the darn thing HAD to have ripped.

"Go talk to Alfred over there," he paused and nodded towards the elderly butler "He'll help you out. When you come back however," He paused and looked to the crowd around them. "I'd like to hear another song, wouldn't you agree?" Again the snobs clapped and cheered. Lidia quickly scooted towards Alfred once the socialites began to chatter away once again. As she awkwardly shifted towards the man, while trying to cover up her bare leg he took the liberty to aid her by walking by her bare side. "Don't worry ma'am we have a few dresses in the back that you may have a look at." Lidia looked at Alfred with a face slightly intrigued, and also very disturbed. "We keep them just for these sorts of situations." With an 'ah', and a nod Alfred left for Lidia to choose her preference.

An array of gowns was before her, all of different sizes and colors. Of course one standed out to Lidia, a deep violet gown with a trumpet hem. Immediately she ripped it from the case that was holding it, and checked the price tag. Of course Mr. Wayne Had to buy the most expensive dresses in the world, however she stripped her tattered dress off and quickly flung the expensive gown on. Lidia recalled her childhood dress up sessions, when she'd force her brother to watch her try on dress after dress.

With pep to her step she was off scurrying down the halls to thank Bruce for lending her the exquisite gown. However she didn't expect the sight before her, and most off all she didn't expect that Bruce would be nowhere to be found.

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"Good evening ladies and gentleman. We are… tonight's entertainment and we have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?" Joker asked with a lick of his lips, pondering just how ridiculous these rich socialites were. The crowd of petrified snobs cowered, he began to ask around. After picking up and sipping a glass of wine he patted a man's, a horrified man's, cheek. Of course he didn't get a response. "You know I'll settle for his loved ones." He began to speak while munching on some appetizers.

"We're not intimidated by thugs like you!" the elderly man spat in the Joker's face. With a rather quizzical look the Joker decided to tell a little story to the man, just to prove that he really WAS. "You know, you remind me of my father." He began to tell the tale, of course with his handy switch knife in his mouth. "I HATED my father." Then the voice of none other than Rachel emanated throughout the room.

"Okay STOP!" The joker's attention immediately shifted to the lovely lady in front of him, after all such fine specimens never seemed to be present in his life. "Well hello beautiful! You must be Harvey's squeeze," he mocked while brushing his hair back and feverishly licking his lips. As he got closer his posture changed to that of a man hunting his prey, "and you ARE beautiful." He circled her, making her feel like a trapped mouse.

"Oh, you look nervous. Is it the scars, do you want to know how I got them?" he again began to tell yet another story. While doing so he grabbed her face in his hand and brought the blade to her face. "So I had a wife, beautiful like you, who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks." Again another lip smack "One day they carve her face, and we have no money for surgeries, she can't take it. I just want to see her smile again. Hm, I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So, I stick a raiser in my mouth and do this to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves, now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!" Rachel punched him in the gut; this merely made him laugh a little at her weak attempt.

"A little fight in you, I like that!" The Joker snickered. A raspy voice came from behind, "Then you're going to love me!" Almost immediately the two sprang into action, scaring the watchers almost half to death. Both fought unbelievably, it was a haze for Lidia. Both just seemed to be a big jumbled blur of purple and black. That was until the Joker had Rachel dangling from the penthouse window. Then she could only hear a mumble, "Poor choice of words" Rachel was gone, and batman was closely following her.

The Joker's clowns started to cause chaos in the penthouse, especially towards the masterpiece the rest of the folks would call a grand piano. Lidia noticed her professor being beaten to a pulp while shouting for her to run, but she couldn't move. Lidia was completely petrified; she was just a statue just observing the scene before her. Of course, a pair of ominous eyes seemed to notice her. The Joker just watched the young beauty as she stand there observing, she seemed very familiar to him. Her strawberry blonde spiraled hair, her pouty red lips, her unbelievable curves, and not to forget her stunning Bambie like mint green eyes.

"I remember you!" The Joker shouted in excitement after piecing the puzzle together. He began to skip over to the lovely lady before him, never taking his eyes off of her curves. "You're the young artist who painted that lovely painting! Now what was it called?" He paused and put his hand over Lidia's most likely gaping mouth. "Now don't tell me… Oh yes! It was the city of chaos wasn't it?" He questioned her in an almost mocking tone.

Lidia nodded completely and utterly terrified. "You know I must say I really admire your art." The Joker bent down to whisper in her ear, "If you'd like I could make the city a living mural." Lidia uncharacteristically backhanded the Joker, which immediately caused the Joker to now have the petrified expression. "You know… for a little lady such as yourself, you sure know how to hit hard." Lidia watched as the joker began to rub the sore side of his face. The joker couldn't believe how ballsy she was, but before he could say anything one of his goons grabbed her by the root of her hair.

"How dare you hit the boss!" the goon that the Joker knew as Bob shouted for everyone to hear. Bob began to throw her across the room but was immediately stopped when a sharp pain came from his back. Lidia realized the Joker had just stabbed the man that had attacked her. Bob growled in pain and turned to face his attacker, the joker was very much displeased. "You know it's quite rude to interrupt a conversation." The joker spat at the clown.

"But boss I was just trying to teach this little" the Joker coughed in a 'watch what you say' tone. "I was just trying to teach this girl here her place. You said if any of the rich snobs were to act out we were to make an example of them." The Joker, and everyone, paused for a moment taking in the thug's words. "Yes but you see…" Joker paused and walked over to Bob, as he loomed over the idiotic man he quickly stabbed him again in the gut. "I don't follow any rules." Bob fell to the ground with a thud, leaving a VERY scared Lidia before him. The Joker couldn't stop staring at the young woman she just reminded him of a past love, another beautiful blonde named Vicky.

"Now I suggest you come with me, unless you want to end up like Bob here." Joker outstretched his hand to Lidia, and very slowly she reached towards it. The police and fellow authorities however speeded up this process by forcing the joker to roughly grab Lidia and quickly run. Lidia could only think of her brother, and how her brother would react to her disappearance. After all, the Joker wasn't the only man that was considered a major criminal.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reads! Sometimes I feel like the only one who still loves he Dark Knight but I'm really excited to write this since a lot of the other fanfics I've read have never been completed. I promise I'll actually end this one for the readers that like it! I'm sorry if this chapter isn't very long, I've decided that I'm going to write this a bit at a time.

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As Lidia was pulled along she could only imagine what her step brother's words would be. I'm going to kill him or if he laid one finger on her he's dead, just wouldn't cut it. Edward was just too refined, no better yet, just too flamboyant to say something so cliché. Another one of his riddles would probably be muttered and the rest of his thugs most likely would look at him as they always did, completely un-understanding. Why did Lidia happen to have to be the Riddler's step sister? It was her parent's fault really, but it didn't really matter now that they were killed by the man. He was simply just too obsessed with his little sis.

"Come on sweet cheeks you better run faster than that!" Joker shrieked in a playful tone while yanking Lidia's arm roughly. She tried to catch up, but three inch heels aren't really made for the occasional sprint. As she was tugged like a ragdoll she looked back to see the utter chaos that the Joker left behind, it really did look like her painting. Never again would Lidia paint anything that might influence a psychopath. Of course she paint's one assignment and a chaotic clown decided that he's going to make Gotham a living mural.

Lidia felt pure and utter guilt as she was being carried along, she didn't even think to fight back. Luckily for the joker, she was just following orders. The joker looked back to see if he wasn't dreaming, a beautiful young woman was holding his arm and running beside him. He definitely could get used to it. The dress was just too distracting though, he knew she was the one when he saw her in the purple gown. Lidia Loraine looked like a beautiful damsel that had to be saved by the wretched rules of society. Honestly, she should be thanking the Joker for his just deed. The joker kept imagining scenarios in his head while they ran; this caused him to almost run into one of his boys.

Noticing the Joker's lack of attention Lidia giggled, he really was like a clown sometimes. Although, the Joker was completely terrifying all the other times. As they twisted and turned down the spiral staircases and ended on the bottom floor Lidia spotted the school bus that they had stolen earlier to rob the bank. Finally coming to her senses she started to pull away from the joker, reality hitting her. She was about to be dragged onto a bus and brought some mysterious location, she could be murdered or raped for all she knew. The Joker turned around to look at her; he snickered to himself and in a quick movement threw her over his shoulder.

"Don't worry doll face; you're in for the ride of your life!" The Joker flung her in one of the front rows and they were off. The police were on their trail, the Joker looked like a madman driving. It repetitively rocked and shook, sending everybody flying about. Lidia grabbed on to the metal part in front of her, trying to steady herself. "Hey Lidia, you're looking a little green!" The Joker laughed as he swerved, even if Lidia wasn't green before she was now. She heard a siren and a man screaming about him stopping the bus, but the Joker just took it as a challenge and kept driving. Lidia heard shots coming towards them and one of the men in the back collapsed to the ground.

"This is fun, I LOVE my job!" Joker began to sing incoherent tunes, and began to whistle. As he did more of his men dropped dead. Once there was about two left, the joker had enough and decided to join in on the fun. "Here take the wheel would you?" The Joker just stood up carrying a large rocket launcher and headed to the back of the bus. Lidia really regretted that she was a terrible driver at that moment. She lunged into the bus driver's seat and tried her best to drive the damn thing. The Joker was just a crazy driver, but Lidia had no clue what she was doing. The bus sped up and amazed the three in the back of the bus; she kept swerving the bus just missing the fires from the police. This was the Joker's lucky day; he could take out about five cop cars and met the love of his life. With a wide grin he shot the rocket sensing the cops sky high.

Noticing that Lidia was hitting the little fork in the road, the Joker's henchman walked over and took the wheel. Lidia looked beautiful in the Joker's eyes, at that moment he wanted to just scoop her in his arms and plant her a good one. Luckily for Lidia, she stopped in the middle of the bus and fainted. "She lasted longer than I thought. Wouldn't you agree boys?" The two men nodded as the Joker walked over and sat in one of the middle seats. He looked down to see her lying on her side, but he really couldn't control himself around her. In an instant she was by his side on the bus, he made her lean her head in the crook of his neck. This was just too perfect he thought to himself, and then he looked down again and noticed something.

There was a very severe burn mark just below her hair line. It had to have been pretty severe for it to stand out; as he squinted his eyes he noticed that the little burn was a branding. The brand was a question mark. "Well this just got a little more interesting!" The joker announced rather smugly. He took Lidia's unconscious form in his arms as they arrived at their destination.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys :3 I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long! I ended up working at the thanksgiving fair and then had a lot of assignments due within the past few days. I'm back and I hope to update every other day or so. I'm sorry if the next few chapters won't be as long as I hoped since I have a lot of schoolwork, but I promise to try and keep up with the story bits at a time. Please be patient! Also I'm sorry for making the j in Joker smaller cased, my laptop always changes it on me and I've tried fixing the settings but nothing is working for me. So you might have to deal with the j in Joker being in smaller case for a while until I can get it to stop trying to auto correct me. Grrrr... Sometimes I hate my laptop. Anyways :3 I hope you enjoy!**

**Also I'm posting a link to my photo bucket for those people who are curious about the purple gown I was attempting to describe. I'm not the best with fashion, but I tried! here's the link:**

user/gyarugirlmeg/media/Joker_ .html?filters[user]=133731445&filters[recent]=1&sort=1&o=0

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Currently everything was a very annoying haze to Lidia. She could feel her body, no she wasn't dead, but it didn't respond. Starting to panic Lidia tried to talk or move but every attempt seemed to fail. It was a never ending darkness that made her want to scream. That was until something unbelievably, and I mean completely unbelievably, cold splashed onto Lidia. That did the trick because in an instant she yelped in a high pitch tone foreign even to herself. A light snickered emerged from behind the now confused Lidia.

A very familiar voice was heard from behind Lidia; she panicked and looked over her shoulder. There the Joker stood, staring a hole into her back. She looked downwards and noticed the dripping bucket in his arms. Lidia started shivering like a maniac while glaring at the maniac across from her. Of course she would be the one to be kidnapped by a psychotic mass murdering clown. "Oh good you're up!" Joker said with a snicker.

"You know I'm rather… Impressed." Lidia gave him a look that obviously gave her surprise away. Joker began stalking towards her, obviously she felt intimidated because she tried to stand upright. Of course she quickly realized her legs were chained down to the bedpost. He had been very generous, in his mind; he had given her his favorite room in the abandoned church. Her face was just not meant to make such a terrified expression he thought; a smile would be more fitting.

"You know doll face…" The Joker paused yet again to lick his lips; Lidia thought they must have been dry by now if it wasn't for the war paint. "I think you're going to be a great contribution to our little team. But… I just need to know about that little thing," As he finally reached her he pointed and swirled his index finger "On your neck." He longed out neck as he stared at the Riddler's brand on Lidia. Lidia detected the assertive and jealous side of his voice.

"It, it was my step brother Edward. He, well he has a bit of a problem. He's in Arkham Asylum." Lidia squeaked out, she looked like a vulnerably little mouse. The Joker sat down far too close to Lidia's liking, and started to murmur little sayings to him. "Well listen I have a little plan that I'll need your assistance with."

Lidia looked up at the Joker; all she could think of was how yellow his teeth were. Honestly his hygiene was rather ridiculous; the man had either poor self-esteem or liked to cuddle with hoboes. She noticed how he always appeared rather grungy, even if he was wearing a tuxedo. His hair was covered in grease, and she could smell his sweat from across the room. Lidia, somewhat appalled by the man, looked at him and nodded in a _continue_ fashion.

"I need a little distraction for the boys in the suits. Henceforth I needed a… hostage." The Joker longed hostage in a fashion that mocked the word itself. The man started to eye Lidia up and down, she shifted under his gaze trying to cover herself up as possible. Of course she had to pick the gown with the clingiest material on the planet! She could feel the once vibrant makeup smudged on her face, she could even see the red lip gloss smeared on her cheek. Lidia hated that she now resembled her captor.

"Listen let's get you cleaned up a bit. You're starting to look like a clown!" He chortled over his little pun and got up from the bed they were currently sitting on. The Joker walked towards the corner of the rather grotesque room and threw a towel over to Lidia. Thank god only her feet were chained. As she was drying herself off, and wiping the useless makeup from her face, she watched as he repetitively slapped his lips together.

"Now I got you some dry clothes, I hope they fit since I got them custom made." Lidia looked up with the man with pure horror. The Joker MUST have been spending the mobs money, most men (and woman), couldn't even wrap their minds around that idea. Joker was an exception however; he just seemed giddy with his accomplishment. "Now put these on! Oh I know we'll be beauty and the beast. But if anyone else calls you beast I'll kill 'em!" Joker manically laughed at his joke and strode over to Lidia.

He handed her a black trash bag, then proceeded to unlock the chains around her ankles. He left without looking back at Lidia. All Lidia could hear were the man's compliments to himself on his joke, and the crazed cackles echoing in the mysterious building.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for not updating for SOOOOOO long. First it was work, then it was being sick and then of course all of the homework and projects from getting sick :( The my computer crashed and erased the four chapters I was going to surprise you readers with D: Now I'm back and planning on getting back in the game!**

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Lidia looked at herself in the dust covered mirror. She could barely make out her reflection but it would have to do. Surprisingly the clothes were comfortable, but more importantly they were dry. God how she wanted wring his neck at the chance she got, but she knew better than that. Her eyes squinted and she could make out the reflection before her. Her blonde hair was slightly askew and she absolutely looked disheveled. Typically she didn't care how she looked but for some unknown reason she was bent and determined to look decent.

In the bottom of the bag she noticed there was a brush and a few pieces of makeup. Nothing special just mascara, powder and gloss. Lidia just thanked go he didn't expect her to wear that gaudy face paint. Squinting her eyes she attempted to apply some makeup that is before a large oaf dressed in a flashy mauve vest popped in. His hair was also greased in that sick shade of green but he didn't wear any war paint, after all he wasn't trying to hide. He was a large man and looked awkward for his size, obviously he was spacing out since he hadn't spoken for the minute or two after he entered.

"Joker wants to see you now. He said you she be done so I have to take you to him in the large room." The man spoke rather slowly and had trouble getting the words out. He obviously had mental problems and Lidia was disgusted with the idea of someone manipulating a man who didn't understand the things around him.

"Alright, alright I'm coming big guy. You just settle your jets." Lidia groaned and got up, the man before her laughed at her saying. They began to walk through the halls this had definitely been a church at one point. Now it was a pathetic run-down building that crazies inhabit for protection. Lidia looked around for anything identifiable; if she was getting out she was going to bring that bastard of a clown down.

Well there were white walls, hardwood floors, and the entire place reeked of gasoline and sweat. Great, Lidia thought, that would be helpful. Noticing the large arch they were headed to she concluded that it lead to the 'large room' the man currently picking his ear was referring to. She wanted to scream bloody murder at that man but she realized that would just get her head shot clean off so she bit her lip instead.

"Ah! There you are doll face!" Joker exclaimed excitedly. He had jumped off a quite exquisite grand piano which her eyes had automatically glued to. What a piece of art, if only the Joker hadn't sat on it. Lidia noticed how a few men had casually strolled into the room as well, all of course carried weapons. Gulping Lidia lead her eyes to meet with the joker's smug gaze.

"Well it took you long enough, geez you really do love the piano!" He started to giggle to himself and saunter towards the slightly trembling Lidia. "You know me and the boys had a good idea, Li-di-a" Oh god, Lidia thought to herself, she was getting gang raped.

"You see I have a little hobby, I'm a director of sorts" GREAT he was going to make some sick torture pornography. Lidia held back tears at the thought of her uncle seeing her. "I make home movies and I'd LOVE to have one of my little Lidia playing the piano. After all your playing is quite remarkable, you could say it's chaotic!" The Joker started to laugh maniacally. Suddenly his hand shot for Lidia's hair and dragged her towards the black piano.

Lidia kicked and screamed but none the less was dragged to the Joker's destination. She was flung onto the stool and pulled into place. The Joker placed a familiar little book in front of her while wrapping his other arm around her. "Now little darling I'd like you to play the minute waltz, and don't get too nervous. It's just a group of friends here! Play just like you did at the party!" He pulled away and stepped back. He pulled a sleek silver video camera out from inside his blazer.

Lidia looked bewildered at this, well at least she wasn't going to feel pain right now. Lifting her trembling hands she began to play with all her strength. All eyes were on Lidia, and not in a good way. Oh how he'd regret this later on she thought, now playing with a fiery hatred.

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**Okay so sorry this wasn't as long as I hoped but I'll update piece by piece as usual. So here's a link for the outfit **** joker/set?id=100032217**

**Here's the link to the music video I had in my head when writing this chapter. I couldn't decide on the music, I know it sounds stupid, but I spent hours yesterday looking through classical music I thought that the Joker would ask her to play. Yes, this will tie in later on ;) watch?v=vbpHJNa-6a8&feature=player_detailpage**


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